WHY bein RICH...is SO dern AWEEEESOME! yippppie joy yays!

I am here to tell you, with ALL certainty that BEING RICH will solve your troubles. YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! WOWWWWWIE. and to think...someone actually let you. neeeeeet-o. well GEE friend I wish I could give you some money but I can't - I'm too busy eating it for food. or breathing it for air. or keeping it to sleep on. and IT FEELS AWESOME. so when YOU GET RICH...come over and we can smoke it...always wondered what that's like.

I PROMISE that I CANT FEED YOU...but you can eat the money and it will give you life. it's everything you know; life itself. very sacred stuff here. we're talking about...life. it's money...simply defined and I LOVE IT. I LOVE MY MONEY LIKE I LOVED MY MONEY WHEN...

i was a kid who stole money from mama
when i made that great merger that taught me everything I KNOW.
when i decided that i was gunna give up my life for someone else

and boy am i glad I DID. i have lived a thousand lives and let me tell you; money was the BEST OF ALL. it sure beats out livin before money was around. man. people were valued as whole and awesome...how LAME you can BE ANYTHING without A BUCK man. YOU ARE TRASH unless you can pay for the TRASH to get picked up. so go pick the trash. in fact. throw EVERYTHING AWAY but yur munnneeey. cuz it's all ya need. and i know. in fact I JUST built a house OUT OF MONEY. it's alright. I took stacks of hundos and threaded them together - no concern its pretty thick stuff...I MEAN have you ever seen a stack of hunDOS they are like fly a all diddly. they are way sweet and like PHAT but with an F this time. I MEAN I GOT MY KIDS addicted to this stuff... THEY LOVE IT!!!! it keeps me away from them...and that's all that matters. i give it to everyone and it keeps them away from me. and they are happy and I AM HAPPY...but i wasn't happy with just a little....nooooooo. no I needed a lot cuz im cool...duh. i rock like all money rocks. like solid, dude.

well at least I DO. i mean i just took it 40 THOUSAND LEAGUES under the SEA. like WOAH. and I'm here to tell you that MONEY STOOD THE TEST of pressure. it did not cave in to the wills of the PRESSURES THAT BE. it decided...hell no. I AM MONEY I WILL BE. and was so righteous. and pure too. it was like divine. in that moment i gave myself to money and I WAS WHOLE. it was everything and nothing in once. and I WAS IN THE SEA. it was nutso bizerko man yo. it was like MONEY MANIFESTO PRESTO YEA YO and I said HELL-O. but someone tried to get me to say HELL NO...paid to have them subdued.

so anyways. this sub. i was in. you cant have it...cuz i bought and its also made of money...its my most valuable possession...the sub SILLY...not the money that would be dumb...im OVER MONEY...sorry to mislead you...what I MEANT was I HAVE SO MUCH I CAN MAKE A SUB and go into the ocean....what about space...oooooooooh. my jaw is smacking the floor repeatedly with stupidity right now. why.did.i.not.think.of.this.

I CAN GO OUT.

so i made it! I DID IT...there's a saucer in the sky MADE OF GREEN EMERALD and it's wowwwwwiiiiieee. I FLOATED AROUND IN IT....and I USED hundos again. they are the best. so great. like one of them is SO RESILIENT. it's like 100 singles. so I CAN HAVE MORE MONEY in less SPACE! WOWWWWWWWWWIE. i never thought about all that....i was just spending it...who knew there was science behind it. I WAS JUST PLAYING TOY with my sub and spaceship...but there is ESSENCE to life...hm. weird. does have money too? probably not...I SHOULD FORSAKE IT.

ZOOM ZOOM!

so I DIED the other day.it sukkkkked. my moulah left me...MOULAH MOULAAAAAAAAAHHHHH i cried out for it...but she never came. then I GOT TO HEAVEN and IT WAS AWESOME!!!!

GET THIS.

since i was richo bazillionaire in life...I WAS UBER RICH IN DEATH YO. im sniffing money now...ZUC u KIN do nefin in HEVUN. sorry i was high on my line of dough. i dont need it anymore; but I GOT IT. my mansion too. and there are still people in cardboard boxes here...

wait...

how long have i been here?

this LOOKS JUST LIKE EARTH!? but with mansions and white lights...hm. why are people still the same? WHY AM I less fulfilled in this notion?

i am sorta weirded out right now. this can't be real. I'M SNORTING my bajillions on the STREET in front of the ppooooorrrrr but they don't care...this is WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG. why don't you care about money!!!

well I still have my dough so I won't wig out just yet. i still have lines to snort. but they are turning into something now....and I DONT KNOW what it is...cuz ive never know anything other than money to go up my nose. wait...i dont do money...i do drugs. i do sex and lots of it. oh no. this isn't heaven this might be hell. i have no money left...and I LOST MYSELF in itttttt

NOOO NO NO.

where is life pervasive now?
what about now?
but I ACCEPT my wrongsssss
I'm sorry.
what about the new? now?

PLEASSSSZZZZZZZZZZZZE. i can't even pretend it's money anymore. HELLLOOOOO anyone hearing this. or am i aloneee? what about...life

oh yea... thats what i lost.